


about love

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Also I am making covers to each chapter, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben is a sad grumpy man but also a softie, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, It's gonna have some references to the movies and BOOKS, It's my first time writing something please be nice ily, Leia and Rey will have a very unique friendship it's gonna be so nice, Rey is an athlete trying to make a name for herself, Size Difference, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23031805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ben recognized her from afar. He looked curious, with his forehead frowned, almost as if thinking: “What’s the deal with her? What's so special?” or even “What was her name again?”. Ben Solo had the eyes of a detective, so investigative. He closed the tiny button of his blazer and proceed to walk to the opposite direction. Ben looked at her one more time, with the corner of his right eye, barely noticeable and then he vanished inside the party filled with people he wasn’t a fan of.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. strangers but not quite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, the cover size is a bit small, because I was posting on Twitter, but I'll change it later. I'll be doing one for each chapter.
> 
> The covers are kinda like stills from a movie, at least, I'll try to make it so it looks like something you'll read soon. Please don't be mean at my photoshop skills, this is the only style of edit I can make!!!! )):  
> GOOD READING xx

Rey definitely felt very uncomfortable wearing this dress she had borrowed from Rose. The only reason she was going to this party was because Leia had asked her and that she needs to close sponsorships.

She had no one to care for her, barely had any memory of her family. Rey was a part of the foster system for so long, she didn’t know anything except living in a stranger's house and looking at unfamiliar faces. However, she had to get used to it, tried to make the best out of it – and that was how she found tracking. Having to share an unknown house with people Rey didn’t know, most of the times she felt overwhelmed and learned that running was a good way to have reasons to leave the house and have no one ask her anything.

Luckily, she joined the tracking team in her high school and manage to get “pretty good” as Rey would say, even managed to get in a decent college.

Rey looked at the mirror one more time before leaving. The bold make-up was different, it made her look a bit old, more mature, and the dress, oh, it was so pretty and fancy. It was a very different style for her, specially having in mind her sweaty clothes or her oversized clothing. She sighed heavily before leaving the hotel room Leia had booked for her. “You can do this”, she thought while shaking her hands, almost as if she was trying to shake away her nervousness.

Determined and nervous, she left the hotel. Rey looked to the streets, so many people walking there to go the party. So many lights from the camera flashes. Nobody knew her. Well, that’s not very accurate of her situation. She had just finished an important race in first place, so all eyes were on her. Everyone wanted to know who the new girl was.

As soon as she walked closer to the party’s entrance, random people looked at her, asking her to sign. She looked so scared, but a rush of adrenaline came in and suddenly she was giving autographs.

_Rey._

* * *

While she was busy giving attention to the few people asking for it, Ben Solo had just arrived at the entrance.

He was so annoyed at the flashlights right at his face. As he got up from his car, he noticed the small gathering of people on the corner. He knew the girl. It was that one that his mother was always talking about, the girl who sometimes cooked for his mother. Sometimes, he could hear the loud laughter she had, even when he was locked inside his room and she was in the kitchen with Leia.

Ben recognized her from afar. He looked curious, with his forehead frowned, almost as if thinking: “ _What’s the deal with her? What's so special?_ ” or even “ _What was her name again?_ ”. Ben Solo had the eyes of a detective, so investigative. He closed the tiny button of his blazer and proceed to walk to the opposite direction. Ben looked one more time, with the corner of his right eye and then he vanished inside the party filled with people he wasn’t a fan of.

The music wasn’t too loud. He knew his mother hated that kind of events, Leia would always say that party are meant to talking and making connections.

Ben remembered how he always hated that part of business. Having to pretend someone he isn’t. Which was ironic for him, since he shut everyone out and made himself distant from all his family. He had grown angry.

His mother did her best, as she could, but he always felt like she could’ve done more. During his adolescence, she barely was at home – too busy working on “lost kids”. Leia never was the kind of person that doesn’t give everything of herself to make everything work. It was always all in or nothing.

As he got older, Ben Solo supposed she was great at both of her jobs, no doubt in that, but he never could restore his relationship with his mother. Specially after the death of his father. He spent most of his young age alone, his uncle would show up once in a while, but he was busy too. In all that solitude and loss, Ben Solo dove himself in angriness and resentment. He spoke with his mother only the necessary, asked if she was well and if she needed any medications. That is all.

Leia still tried to reach for him, but his door was closed and he didn’t seem to want to change it.

Ben Solo had lost himself in his thoughts, holding a glass of whiskey that used to be cold, but now only has wetted his hands. He saw his mother walking at his direction.

“Ben!” she said, happily, almost surprised. “I’m so glad you are here today.” he gave a smile, so weak, most people wouldn’t even recognize as a smile, but his mother knew.

“Um,” he said unsure of what to say. “I was bored.” Leia laughed and put her hands on his shoulder, since he was still sitting down and looked small.

“I have so many people wanting to meet you. Will you please be kind and try to be nice?” she asked knowing the kind of son he had. Ben was a grown man, but sometimes he’d act like he was 16 years, so moody and rude towards people. No one knew how he could react and most of them were afraid of his explosive reactions. He nodded while taking a sip of his drink.

A woman came close to his table, taking his mother forearm in a very shy kind of way. Like when you are holding your parents’ hands in public as a kid, or when you are afraid and someone older will stand with you and help. It was the same girl for earlier. Rey.

Rey said something that was inaudible for him, and then Leia gave him a kiss on the top of his head and then left with her. When Ben Solo saw, the girl and his mother were holding hands, and his mother placed her other hand on the girl's forearm. They seemed like daughter and mother, so close and friendly. 

Deep down, he missed feeling safe around his family, but the way they all handled his father’s death... Ben dismissed his thoughts and tried to focus on something else. 


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m so nervous I don’t how to act” Rey said while looking with big-rounded eyes to Leia and shaking her hands. “What is my name again?” she said, trying to be funny then nervously laughing of herself. 

“Calm down, Rey,” Leia replied with such smoothness in her voice “It’ll be fine. I have faith that you can get something out of here tonight” 

Leia was the only reason Rey didn’t feel so alone sometimes. She used to be a social worker at her high school, Rey knew that she was important, as Leia was always very well dressed and she even heard someone saying that she had “connections”, but for Rey it never was because of that. It was because she felt very inspired to see a hard-working woman, who gave her best to all kids, without prejudice or discrimination. 

Leia started being her agent, her husband helped to get some deals, but nothing ever settles when they get to know Rey’s story. Most of the brand want to sell a story, and Rey was nothing to tell. She came from nothing and was trying to be self-made in a world that demanded something she didn’t had. Rey had seen Leia close so many deals for other teams and women, and recently, she had started feeling like the problem was with herself, because Leia was trying her best, yet Rey was still going solo for a whole year, even after winning in first place with no sponsors. 

The night felt like a nightmare as the time passes. Rey felt like she couldn’t keep anyone’s attention, even though there are at least three people around her curious to know who she is. 

She was holding a glass of campaign, feeling uncomfortable in her own skin. Maybe it was the dress or the low lighting or the bold make-up or her very tight hairstyle. 

While she was trying to keep the conversation going, Leia came bringing her son. Rey could barely recognize his face; she had seen it few times over the years. Ben had beautiful dark hair, it was longer than usual and striking dark eyes, a few moles scattered in his complexion. 

She saw some pictures of him as a kid, because Leia would show her, but as she grew older, she barely saw him when she was at Leia’s house, sometimes she would only see the glimpse of Ben walking through the house. Like a ghost, living no trails and speaking very softly. 

“Look who showed up! My beautiful son, Ben” she said very proudly. A small pain in Rey’s chest, even after being a 21 years old woman, some wounds never healed. She knew she wouldn’t have a family that would speak proudly of her. Rey smiled and sipped her drink and tried to pay attention to whoever wanted to speak with her. 

Ben hated that his mother would do this, but he couldn’t win this battle, so he just gave in. He noticed Rey barely paying attention to him or his mother. “ _So full of herself and looking for fame, I don’t know what anybody sees in her_.” he thought to himself. As he tried to small talk to everyone, he couldn’t help but notice how annoyed he was at Rey. Something about her didn’t make sense for him – and he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. 

The night passed very slow, but ended. 

* * *

Ben had a bit too many drinks in the after party with his friend, Hux. He went to some club and now, regretted. The sun would hurt his eyes even he wore sunglasses. His head ache. Before entering his office, he stopped by a small coffee shop there. His eyes felt heavier than a elephant, he could barely keep them open, even with his sunglasses.

He was scrolling through his phone, very unaware of his surroundings, without even glimpsing, he asked for a small black coffee to go. A woman replied and with little delay, he was drinking his coffee and heading out to work. 

It was a Saturday, however he still had to work, since he had to leave early yesterday to get ready for that party, he had too much work to get done. 

As he owned his father’s company now, he had some guy practically explain everything he needed to do, as he didn’t have any kind of experience in this field of work. All he knew is that his father would provide services to other people that needed it. 

Before getting to night time, he was too tired. _Working while hungover wasn’t a good idea_ , he thought, but at least he did some paperwork. 

As he left the building, the sun was still up, the sky was in a beautiful shade of orange, with small hues of blue. Ben loved the lilacs that would happen during a sunset. He stopped at the entrance, while he waits for his uber. 

“Hm, Ben?” he heard someone say softly his name. He couldn’t figure out who owned such voice that caused a chill down his spine. He looked to his left. Rey was there, but in a different style. She had her hair in a low ponytail, a hoodie on and some jeans. She looked very tired, but was smiling.   
“Oh, you.” he replied. 

“Yea, it’s Rey, remember?” she asked. He nodded and then moved his eye to the road. “You don’t like looking at people, huh?” her tone switched, it was a bit angrier. “Maybe next time you actually look to people instead of being so up your ass.” 

He felt offended as she left without waiting for his reply. 


	3. you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, again, I wanted to say if you have any problem with my writing, please, let me know, so I can improve. Accept all kinds of critics. <3
> 
> So, do you like the covers?????

  
Rey woke up and stared at herself in the mirror. She got lazy and didn’t remove her make-up, so now she had panda eyes and glued eyelashes because of the mascara. Her hair had too much hairspray and it seemed to be very rough still. 

She took a cold shower. It was a cold morning, but when you have bills to pay and some things break, hot water isn't first on Rey priority list. 

After leaving, she looks at her bed. Laying there it was her uniform from the coffee shop she found a job. She managed to find a job that would help to pay the rent and allow her to have time to train. Mostly because of Poe, because he knew of her situation and begged his father to help a friend who was desperate of a job. 

It was good enough for now. At least she would have some independence. She was one of the first to get to shop. Everything went smoothly. 

It was around 9 am that Ben Solo had entered his coffee shop. She was surprised to see him there, but he didn’t recognize Rey. 

Well, actually, he didn’t even look. His eyes were only on his phone and then he was out. He barely said “thank you” and “good morning”, since he spoke in a low tone. 

She felt a bit angry, since she always treated him very politely and he didn’t even have the decency to look in her eye. But then the day went on. 

As she left the coffee shop and looked for her bike that she had put next to a building, she saw him again. 

The golden light of the sunset was shining on his dark hair. His face didn’t seem as pale, since he was standing in that beautiful light. He looked like an angel bathing in sunset. She walked to her bike and then decided to talk to him again, after all, she wanted to see if Leia was okay. 

“Hm, Ben?” Rey said softly. She felt very timid, since they barely spoke. 

“Oh, you” he replied when looking at her. 

“Yea, it’s Rey, remember?” she said. To Rey, he seemed almost as if disappointed or that she was disturbing his peace, and she supposed she was when he abruptly looked to the road. It was the second time today he could swiftly dismiss her. 

She was tired and then lashed out in an angry voice: “Maybe next time you actually look to people instead of being so up your ass” and left, waited for no replies. 

In all those years that she knew Leia, she would try to engage in a conversation with Ben, but would fail. Rey would either give up or have him barely respond to her talking. She would still try, because of Leia and because she always refused to be rude to others, but even the kindest can get tired. 

* * *

Rey’s phone rang. She had just got into her bed, after a long shift. It was Leia. She smiled and quickly answered her phone. 

“Hi, Leia! What’s up?” 

“Hi, darling! I’m sorry to trouble you, but...” Leia’s voice was lower, almost as if it was weaker. “would you mind coming to my house? My son is working late, and I’m not feeling very well.” 

“Oh? What’s going on? What do you feel?” Rey sat on her bed now, her forehead crowned, worry was written all over her face. 

“It’s just a flu, but I don’t have any meds or groceries, I was supposed to do them now, but I was feeling a-” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there as fast as I can” Rey said while taking off her working clothes. She would only take a quick shower and then head out to Leia’s house.

Rey had the keys to Leia’s house. After knowing her for over five years, Leia had enough trust to get her a copy, since sometimes Rey would come over to get some important papers for her. 

She found Leia in the couch, with a blanket around her. 

“I'll make you some soup! Got meds, teas, brought some comfy food...” she said while walking to the couch. She sat beside Leia and gave her a small hug. 

“Oh, my savior!” Leia said cheerfully. “I didn’t want to worry my son, he had such an important meeting and _it is_ just a simple cold.” 

They talked for a bit, but Rey said she should start cooking her soup, meanwhile, she made sure Leia had a cup of tea. 

Didn't take long to cook it. They were both in the kitchen table, enjoying the soup and giggling loudly, like two kids. 

Leia and Rey didn’t notice that Ben arrived. Rey was the first to notice, changing her expression quickly when she saw him at the kitchen door. Rey was now dead silent, while Leia continued laughing, she noticed something was wrong but then, 

“Mother?” Ben said. “What’s going on?” 

“Oh, hi, Ben!” Leia replied, now looking at him. “I called Rey because I’m just feeling a bit under the weath-” she didn’t even finish her sentence, Ben rapidly placed his hand in her forehead, checking her temperature. It was warm, but too much, however he could tell her that she was, indeed, weakened. 

“Why didn’t you call me?” Ben asked. 

“She didn’t want to bother you” Rey intervened. 

“I wasn’t talking to you.” he answered in such a low, but assertive tone of voice. 

“Why are you talking to Rey like that? She was kind enough to come and aid me... I’m grateful” Leia replied and reached to Rey’s hand that was laying in the kitchen table, it was her way of saying I’m sorry for my son’s behavior. Rey replied with a smile. They didn’t need words to talk with each other, weirdly Leia and Rey had a very unique kind of friendship. 

“I just want to know why you didn’t call me...” he replies. Rey could tell that he felt disappointed, almost jealous, somehow. Like he was forgotten, even if Leia had the best intentions, it seemed like he was reading the whole situation wrongly. “Your son”, Ben says. Rey looked at his eyes, it was almost as she wasn’t there, as he looked only into his mother’s eyes. 

“I knew you were busy working, Ben, you had that important meeting!” Leia said, she got up and gave him a hug, he didn’t hug back, but placed his hand at Leia’s shoulder. “Besides, it’s just a simple cold... Nothing to worry about.” The mother was now staring at Rey, moving herself next to her place in the table. “Come now, there’s still soup left”. 

“I’m... not hungry” Ben looked at Rey, it was the second time that he looked at her tonight. She felt very invisible, but now, for a brief moment, he stared at her so intensively, like she was the only person in the room. 

The moment ended before Rey could say anything, because he had sifted his beautiful pair of dark eyes. “Uncle Luke said he was coming tonight....” his voice was lower, softer. Rey started to scroll at her phone, since she didn’t feel like she was involved in the family conversation. 

“Oh, really? Why?” 

“No idea” he replies. “He didn’t say” Ben walked to the kitchen counter. Pressed some buttons on the coffee machine and while trying to get a mug, his arm touched Rey’s back. 

While him and Leia were talking about family, she was in another world, trying to distract herself, when they touched, so suddenly, she felt a rush of electricity moving through her body. A wave of shock. It ended very briefly. It was enough to bring Rey back to reality. She looked at Ben. Unsure of how she was feeling. The static she felt was something new. 

“I think I’ll be heading home” Rey said, in the midst of their conversation. 

“Don’t go yet,” said Leia “it’s late... When Luke arrives, Ben can take you, so you won’t go alone” 

“Hm, it’s not necessary, I can just take a bus” Rey said. She didn’t want to bother anyone, specially not Ben Solo. 

“No, no! Ben won’t mind, and I don’t want to see you walking alone in the night, it is dangerous for any woman” Leia said, she was now grabbing Rey’s hand and taking her to the couch so they would watch some mediocre TV show. 


	4. Chapter 4

Ben vanished for a while. It took a good hour until Luke arrived. He and Leia were so excited to see each other, Leia’s spirits had risen and it seemed like she wasn’t even sick anymore, filling the whole house with beautiful sounds of her laughter. 

After Luke arrived, Ben solo came downstairs. His hair wasn’t fully dried yet, he even had his cheeks red from the warm shower he had. Rey and Leia were talking, and he went closer to his uncle. 

“Do you want to go home now?” Leia said. She nodded her head. 

“Ye, I’m sorry, but I’m so tired... Thank you, Leia, and it was a pleasure meeting you, Luke!” Rey said so politely. 

* * *

The air in the streets was cold. It wasn’t much after midnight. Rey guessed she had indeed spent too much time at Leia’s house. 

Ben entered in his car without delay and Rey followed him, quietly. She sat on the passengers set. 

“Hm,” he said while turning on the car. A soft, low music started playing. “where do you live?” 

Rey explained the path. They didn’t talk much, until she decided to break the ice between them. 

“I don’t want to take your place”, she said suddenly. Ben moved his face towards her for a few seconds with such a confused expression. “I mean, your mom helps me a lot, so I’m very grateful to her, and as I said earlier, she didn’t want to bother you”. Her voice was lower than usual. 

“It’s fine” he replied. Sometimes, Rey forgets how deep his voice is. “I guess I could say I was unnecessarily rude” 

“Yea, an apology wouldn’t kill you, you know” she was now looking at him. The car had stopped because of the red traffic light. 

Ben felt her heavy stare, he then decided to stare back. Her eyes were different than ever. He barely looked at her, because he felt left out whenever she was around, but he knew something was different. She was hurt because of his rudeness earlier tonight and probably the other day, that he still doesn’t know why she was so angry. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked, interrupting their gaze. “I forgot to eat, and there is a pizza place near here...” 

Rey wasn’t sure of how to react. He seemed so friendly all of the sudden. 

“S-sure”. 

“Come” 

He parked the car, but before leaving, he took one hoodie that was laying in the backseat and handed to Rey. 

“It’s cold tonight, take it” 

She was overwhelmed by his niceness; she didn’t expect it. Rey knew that he was sometimes caring, but only to his family and in a very different kind of way as Leia would tell her. She took the hoodie, after all, it was getting colder and she barely had a warm sweater. 

“Thank you” 

They walked in silence for less than five minutes to get to the pizza place Ben said. It was a small Italian pizzeria, filled with red lights. It wasn’t very crowded. 

Ben talked to the waiter so happily, like they were friends. She never knew that Ben seemed capable of showing anything more than his usual expression. He talked some Italian that Rey didn’t understand and then looked at her, saying 

“I asked for a traditional pizza, it’s their best, it’s okay for you?” she nodded, “Do you want to drink anything? I’ll just have a soda, but if you want to drink, you can” 

“Not a fan of drinks, thank you, but I’ll have a Pepsi” 

The waiter smiled and replied, their order wouldn’t take long. They were alone again. 

Deadly silence, except for the music, playing a song that Rey knew, but couldn’t remember the name. She wanted to say something, start a conversation, but didn’t know. Rey was confused about the sudden change of his behavior. He raged at her earlier, but now borrowed her a hoodie and took her to eat pizza. _Ben Solo seemed to care?_ She thought. A brief smile emerged on her lips because of the possibility. 

Ben payed attention to Rey closely, while she was checking out the place. Her eyes seemed to be a dark hazel, with small green spots. A few freckles scattered in her complexion. She changed her gaze, now she stared back in his eyes. 

“What?” she asked. “Do I have something on my teeth?” Rey covered her mouth with her hand, embarrassed. 

“Oh, no, I was just looking at you” 

Her body language changed. She was relaxed, tranquil, but now, her back was as straight as could get, her shoulders were stiff. Rey's body felt locked, frozen in the time. 

“Why?” the curiosity rose in her. The frown on her forehead emerged. “And... why are you suddenly acting like a nice person?” Ben moved his hand to support his head, he places his fingers through his dark hair. For a brief second, Rey wanted to feel the texture of it, it seemed to soft and fresh.

“Why were you angry at me that day?” he looked to his left while saying the sentence. “That day... in the streets.” Rey noticed that he didn’t have much expression on his lips or body language, but his eyes... Ben spoke through his eyes. It was his way of communication, she assumed, because now, they weren’t the same as before. He always was a tired expression, indifferent, uninterested eyes. But now they seemed conflicted, if Rey could suppose. 

“Hm, you didn’t even notice me,” she started saying, Rey crossed her arms and got lower in the chair, almost trying to hide herself. Her eyes were low, staring at the empty table in front of them. “At the coffee shop, you acted like I was invisible” 

Ben didn’t even saw her working there. He didn’t even have the energy to lift his eyes to look around. He must’ve sounded so unpolite, rude, and he supposed he had been, otherwise she wouldn’t have gotten that angry.   
“I didn’t see you; I had a horrible hungover, couldn’t even see anything properly” Ben explained. 

“Ah... I see.” 

Silence reined again at their table. Ben didn’t know she worked as a barista too. Wasn't she a runner? He wanted to question, but assumed he shouldn’t be asking too many personal questions to someone he barely knew. 

They ate in silence, not much talking. At first, Rey thought it was very awkward, not too much time passed she grew used to it. It was comfortable, relaxing, because she knew he was there. She wasn’t all alone. 

When the bill arrived, Ben grabbed his wallet, but Rey disagreed. 

“No, no, no” she hissed. “Let me pay, you are already taking me home, please? Let me do something in return.” she asked. 

“I can pay, it’s fine, I am the one who wanted to eat pizza” he replies. Rey locks his hand on the table, even with the size difference, he didn’t do much, as he could easily just remove her hands out of his way. She was determined. 

“No. Let me.” 

He surrenders with little effort. She knows that because he was putting his wallet back in his pocket. 

“Thank you” 

They left the small restaurant. The air was so much colder, Ben's pouty lips were in a beautiful shade of red, it was almost was if he was wearing lipstick, he felt the cold in his bones. 

They drove in silence too, not a lot of talking. Rey guided him to her house and Ben was surprised to see the building she lived. The building was old, it appeared like it was hanging by a thread. Ben joked, in his mind, that if a strong wind happened, the whole building would collapse in the blink of an eye. It was in Jakku too, in such a sketchy side of town. 

“Well, this is me” said Rey, as she as opening the car door she stopped and looked at him. “Why did you do _this?_ ” 

“I wanted to know you, Rey” he replies. His voice so deep and rasp. “I now can conclude that you are very plain.” 

“Excuse me?” Rey was clearly offended. 

Rey was surprised and shocked. She always had the best intentions toward literally anyone. She thought of so many things to tell him, but she was tired and had to wake up early. She wanted to scream and rage at his face. Tell him he’s wrong and insane. Maybe even throw a punch at his face, but she settled. Rey didn't wait to him to respond, and she spoke again, very firmly, the anger boiled her blood. 

“If that's what _yo_ _u_ think of me, you’re very wrong, Ben. Good-fucking-night, you asshole.” 

“We’ll see” 

She left without even looking back and closed the door with such strength and rage. Rey never felt so offended, she couldn’t believe that she actually thought he was being nice to her. For the first time, in what? Four years? Five? She didn’t know how much time it was. Hell, she didn’t fucking care. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit smaller, because next one will be a whole night and that night is gonna be a bit wild, so it's just Ben and Rey being two awkward dumbasses.


End file.
